It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust. – Samuel Johnson
There are many experiences that even complete strangers can bond over, because they are universal: the birth of a first son or daughter; marriage; the first trip to another country or continent…Then, there are also some experiences that we all share – at least on a general sense – which are far less pleasant and much more challenging. One of these experiences is when we stop trusting someone. When a life partner, a relative, a friend or even a co-worker betrays us, the shock can be baffling and powerful. It can put us in such a state of sadness and despair, that for a few days we are nearly incapable to think about something else.People, like rivers, are always changing. No person is ever the same from one moment to the next. It’s one of life’s greatest wonders, and it is also the source of our learning experience. Our souls and our intellects grow richer because we are able to process change in a way many other living creatures aren’t. Therefore, it would be unwise to think that we can predict the course of events; and much less the behaviour of other people, no matter how well we know them and/or how much we care for them.
Should we be on our guards forever, then? Should we enter every relationship with an armoured heart and a profound feeling of distrust? Or, should we even bother to make any true connections with others at all? “Maybe”, we think, “I shouldn’t be so loving/giving/open next time”.
Think about it…Is that a way to live? Forever fearing that others might betray you at any given chance? In answer to this, I’m going to present you with a bonus quote by novelist Daniel Handler, a.k.a. Lemony Snicket:
“Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered in sap and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors where it is harder to get a splinter.”
What do you prefer: to spend your time alone in safety; or to take the chance and discover the wonderful views that might be awaiting you when you are open to joy, to love and to friendship? I’d love to read your comments at docbeverly@aol.com.
