Compromise or Not?

This photo of a cactus at our home is the result of a recent compromise that my husband, Michael, and I have made. This compromise is just one of many that we have made throughout the years of our being together and I feel that it’s a great example of how important these compromises can be.

Here’s what happened…. Michael says, “I want to cut down that cactus tree because it’s blocking our view of the lake”. I say, “but, it’s a living tree and I don’t want to cut it down”. You can imagine the back and forth discussion! Then, we both decided that this was, yet, another time to compromise. We brainstormed and came up with the idea to cut it half way down and prepare the center for a bird bath! It’s beautiful, alive, the birds love it and the view is incredible.

Do you compromise in your relationships? Is this always the path to take when there is a disagreement? Well, I would say that it’s an important part of all of our relationships and a skill that is important to learn in order to have a successful, harmonious life. In other words, I’ve learned that I cannot be in a relationship strictly on my own terms. Darn. It just doesn’t work, or at least work in a healthy way.

At the same time, I’ve learned that you can’t compromise everything and it’s important to know when to be flexible and when to take a stand. There are some things that we shouldn’t let go of, no matter how much someone else might want you to (however, I believe that if someone is conscious and healthy, they wouldn’t ask you to). Here are five of those situations in which it’s important to never compromise in any relationship that we have.

1. Our Self-Esteem
You should never let someone influence you in a way that makes you feel that you’re not enough or that you should give up the essence of who you are. And, we should never “change” ourselves (that’s your doing) to fit the image that someone else wants you to fit, if it’s not in integrity with yourself.

2. Respect
You should always be treated with respect and if you’re not being treated that way, then it’s not something you have to tolerate.

3. Core Beliefs and Values
Not everyone will have the same core beliefs and values as you and that’s okay. If you differ on these; it’s possible that you could have healthy, informed discussions. However, if your beliefs and values are extremely different (diametrically opposed) or your partner or partners are insisting that you change yours, then it’s important to evaluate what matters most to you and take a stand for that. Believe in yourself!

4. Your Dreams
You are entitled to your healthy dreams for the future. If someone in one of your relationships tries to impede these dreams or doesn’t support you in following them; then it’s time to take a stand.

5. Relationship with Your Friends and Family
Sometimes your relationships with your friends and family can be toxic. And, your partner or other close friends may give you feedback about this. Listen. However, if your partner or other close friends are insisting that you “drop” your other healthy relationships for the sake of spending more time with them or because they might not “like” them, then it’s time to take a stand!

As always, I’d love to hear from you at beverly@lifepathmasters – any comments or input? This newsletter is being linked to my new blog (https://lifepathmasters.com/blog/) and you can comment directly there, as well. The blog can be reached from either www.lifepathretreats.com and www.lifepathmasters.com (our new website for online courses). The blog has all of the newsletters (since 2014) archived and categorized so I hope you will enjoy it!

This newsletter will be coming to you “about” every 2 weeks (it used to be weekly but compromised on that!). However, you can comment on the blog or email me, anytime you’d like.

Blessings on your journey, Beverly

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8 thoughts on “Compromise or Not?”

    1. Thanks, Bibi. I love our cactus bird bath, too. It’s such a good reminder for me to not get too attached to “being right”!

  1. Hi Beverly,
    I had the privilege to visit a beautiful, old remodeled 1700 home that belonged to a well loved sculptress, Barabara Kaufman. She did delightful statues of women and critters. The home has been updated without losing any of it’s charm and it is available for retreats. It can be rented entirely for 500 dollars a night. You can see it at “leadingfieldsvt.com”. It is really tranquil and inspiring and I thought of you immediately – if you are ever interested in a Northern location for your journeys. Or a holiday at $125 per room I think she said. It is very near where I live, the views and ground are amazing and they have just created a labyrinth up on a hill nearby. Enjoy this discovery.
    Joan

    1. Thanks, Joan. It sounds lovely! We are invited to go North in August of 2019 to speak at the Omega Institute but don’t think we’ll get there any other time soon. Busy preparing our online course on the Hero’s Journey which is coming along great. We are also preparing plaques (finally) for the artwork on the walkway to LifePath. Could you send me an email with the information that you would like put on your plaque? Every time I walk down the walkway, I’m filled with so much gratitude for your work and for the other artist’s work! So many people get to enjoy it every day!

  2. Jeanie Seward-Magee

    A really great newsletter with wonderful advice Bev – so happy you will be teaching again and wonderful that Michael is now working with you at these on-line courses. Hope to see you when we return to SMA in October.

  3. Practical, personal examples of compromise are appreciated, Beverly! Thanks for sharing the picture and the story. (Lovely view…enhanced by happy birds).

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