A wise person said to me today: “when you hate something or someone too much, for too long a time, you end up becoming a version of what you hate”. The longer I think about it, the more I understand how true that statement is. If you give it some thought you will realize it as well.

Our emotions are powerful beyond belief, because they come from the core of our being: they are a product of our physical, spiritual, and psychological states. Hate, as an emotion, is there for evolutionary reasons. It is so strong and overwhelming a force, that it can pull us out of the most difficult situations – like when our lives are in danger. It usually follows fear. This goes back to the time when we were all still living in caves, and even thousands of year before that. It is one of our more primal emotions – and therefore, one that must be kept in check when it comes to daily life or when hate finds a way to make itself present in ordinary situations, it is a signal of something very dangerous and pernicious that is creeping upon us, or maybe (hopefully not) that a negative force is currently dwelling within us.

Being devoid of hate can seem impossible, particularly for those who have held onto it for most of their lives. After all – if you could remove hate from such a person’s heart, – what would remain to motivate them? People hold onto what makes them carry on; no matter what. It’s not an overnight change, and it takes years and years of inner work, but it CAN be achieved. The best way I know is to discuss it; with a therapist, or with your relatives, or with your friends. Bring the darkness towards the light! Communication and love (being able to receive it, and to give it; as well as loving yourself) are the only way to eradicate hate from our hearts.

Of course, we’re all allowed to dislike certain things and people. Just make sure you differentiate, even through the words you use, between ‘dislike’ and ‘hate. Many times we overuse the word ‘hate’ and that, in itself, alters our health and our perspective. Situations and human interaction are a tough, never-ending challenge: we certainly don’t need to turn every dislike into hatred.

Next time someone pushes your buttons; or when you find yourself harbouring negative strong feelings about something or someone, try to think about your loved ones, or about the things you most love to do in this world. Don’t put an already negative energy in the wrong place. Try to counteract the darkness with light.

Looking forward to your comments at  docbeverly@aol.com.